In response to Ruth Seligman’s Survey of Seventy:
I will be 68 on my next birthday. Here is how I feel about my birthdays in general: I like them. I always have a feeling of gratitude and blessedness. I have no desire to celebrate them in any special way and feel no disappointment when others don’t remember it. My mother always did and that was enough. When I reached 40 she started sending me birthday checks in an amount matching the year, with instructions to spend it on myself. Once, after learning how babies are born, I asked my mother if it hurt her when I was born. “Yes,” she said, “but I forgot all the pain the minute they put you in my arms.” How could I mind a day that recalls that kind of joy and love, verified by the birth events of my own three children.
Five words which describe me. Jewish. Flexible. Thoughtful. Dependable. Blessed.
I think I am perceived by others as calm, organized, trustworthy and intelligent. One friend once told me “you are the original velcro person.” (Just about the most delightful description I’d ever want.)
I think younger people (my children’s age as well as my children) perceive me in much the same way. I think children (my grandchildren’s age) probably perceive me as old, maybe a little severe, because I don’t force a relationship, or get too much into the mindset of that age. But I love observing small children and (once again since the birth of grandchildren) recognizing almost on sight, how old they are and what size clothes they need. (Which I forgot how to do after my own kids passed into their teens.)
Major concerns, fears, etc., at this stage of life. Foremost is the inevitable deaths of close and loved family members older than I (including my father, now 93). Also difficult is not seeing often or knowing well my far away grandchildren. Probably like most seniors I hope not to become incapacitated and dependent because of illness. I do not think I am afraid of dying, except of dying slowly, diseased, deranged, or undignifiedly. I fantasize that in my next life I’ll be lithe and beautiful enough to be an ice skater or ballroom dancer.
Mostly I am grateful that I have the possibility of a fruitful old age: I am not afraid of being alone since I have many intellectual and manual skills and interests and hundreds of tasks/projects to do. I may have inherited longevity genes. I do all I can to remain mobile and to handle pain with a minimum of medicine. I believe I will have the financial resources to be independent as well as generous. In five years I will have many more age spots than at present, will be badly in need of a face lift, which I will not get. I hope that I will be free of my too many community commitments, but probably will not be.