{"id":410,"date":"1994-03-21T08:00:00","date_gmt":"1994-03-21T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisamishli.com\/bernice-meyer-saltzman\/?p=410"},"modified":"2021-01-25T15:09:26","modified_gmt":"2021-01-25T15:09:26","slug":"truths-my-mother-taught-me-prologue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisamishli.com\/bernice-meyer-saltzman\/1994\/03\/21\/truths-my-mother-taught-me-prologue\/","title":{"rendered":"Truths My Mother Taught Me &#8211; Prologue"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Dear Chocolate Lover [<em>Martele<\/em>]:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not true that I learned all I need to know about Judaism <em>before<\/em> kindergarten. My greatest growth didn\u2019t begin until about age 23, in the year I read <em>The Diary of Anne Frank <\/em>&nbsp;and <em>Exodus&nbsp; <\/em>continuing until today, with the most intensive learning between 1972-78 when I was most estranged from \u201corganized\u201d religion but deeply engrossed in Biblical and comparative-religion studies at Trinity College.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But yes, it\u2019s true that RRM was my first and best teacher. And with her death (and the nearly simultaneous arrival at my synagogue of two young, dedicated, intelligent rabbis), I am back on what feels like my spiritual path, saying Kaddish almost daily and involving myself in a new synagogue group, a Grief Support Committee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My journey to Judaism is remarkable to me because my mother and father were totally opposite in their approach, beliefs, and observance. Memories: my mother cried and stormed twice a year \u2013 on Rosh Hashanah\/Yom Kippur because my father wouldn\u2019t go to shul, in fact <em>worked.<\/em>\u00a0 And on Passover, when my father would arrive in the middle of the seder, and then needle my grandfather (and later Uncle Bob) to \u201churry it up.\u201d Another: one Friday night my cousin (on my father\u2019s side) from Claybank VA came for dinner. He was in his 20\u2019s, very sophisticated and worldly as a UVa graduate and a NYC resident. He had seen my mother light and bless the Shabbat candles. As dinner neared the end, he leaned over and blew them out. My mother got up, walked over to his chair and slapped him up side his head with the flat of her hand.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you ever do that in my house again,\u201d she said with cold fury.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which is to say that, with the adoration I had for my father (until I was 20 years old), I could have gone in a totally different direction. Why didn\u2019t I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This will be worth exploring because, of course, my mother is the key to the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another part of the answer is Beth-El where I had two \u201creligious experiences\u201d. The first was the service of my Confirmation. The second was Yom Kippur Day 1950, after my graduation from college. In between those two \u201cepiphanies\u201d I threw off as much \u201cJewish\u201d as I knew how to get rid of. And what is Beth-El, if not the creature and creation of our mothers \u2013 and fathers. But mostly, our mothers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Chocolate Lover [Martele]: It\u2019s not true that I learned all I need to know about Judaism before kindergarten. My<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,9],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Truths My Mother Taught Me - Prologue - Bernice Meyer Saltzman<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Truths My Mother Taught Me - Prologue - Bernice Meyer Saltzman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Chocolate Lover [Martele]: It\u2019s not true that I learned all I need to know about Judaism before kindergarten. 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