Sey.
\nNot my father or step father; I called him \u201cMy Seymour.\u201d He always greeted me with a broad smile, rosey cheeks, an embrace \u2013 and the question: \u201cHow\u2019s your Yiddish?\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s easy to see why my mother, Helen, loved him. Sey was so sweet and so kind, gentle and easy going. They were brought together through Bernice, Sey\u2019s wife of 49 years and mom\u2019s college roommate. Helen and Sey had similar backgrounds and much in common so it was understandable that they would choose to be together. <\/p>\n
I loved Seymour not only for the sweet man he was but for the joy and companionship he shared with Mom. It was a pleasure to see how they enjoyed each other\u2019s company, and inspiring to see how they made a new start together. She was his supporter, social planner and constant companion. And I don\u2019t need to tell you how she loved him and cared for him and worried over him. Next week would have been their 10th anniversary. I find that incredible because it seems like Sey was always part of our lives.<\/p>\n
With mom\u2019s encouragement, Seymour began to play bridge; they traveled \u2013 just a bit. They escaped the Connecticut winters in favor of sunny Florida, which Seymour loved. Each morning he would relish the sunshine, do Sudoku and take in the tropical surroundings with undiminished enthusiasm. It was, as he claimed, Paradise. <\/p>\n
Our families grew together, sharing some holidays, milestones, overlapping visits. I can picture Sey at the Seder table, telling us about his early years in Hartford. I remember his pride in discussing the Saltzman genealogy. It was more than just personal history; he traced his roots back to Rashi, one of the most important Jewish scholars of all time! Sey would say, with satisfaction, \u201c Now that\u2019s yichus.\u201d His genealogical efforts brought together two things he treasured: his Jewish identity and family. Seymour knew that our strength was in family. A family we were honored to join and come to know, and love.<\/p>\n
With David nearby, Seymour would revel in their shared love of gardening, spending hours tending each vegetable bed, giving each variety all the care and attention necessary for a satisfying harvest. In truth, the garden nurtured their relationship, too. Most Friday evenings, David and Ana would have Shabbos dinner with Mom and Sey, a ritual that Sey treasured.<\/p>\n
Lisa\u2019s visits were a welcome treat. Her decision to live in Israel mirrored his own passion for Israel \u2013 and for Judaism. He was so proud of her and her family. Sey took delight sharing stories with us about Doron, Smadar, and Amit. He was enchanted by Israeli life and shepped nachas from their military service and their devotion to Israel, a country he loved. \u201cImagine,\u201d he would say to us, \u201cmy grandchildren are Sabras.\u201d Their visits left him floating.<\/p>\n
As a professor, Robert, achieved the pinnacle of scholarship, something Sey admired. Sey looked forward to their annual visits to the Lake because that meant he would have plenty of time to catch up with Robert and Beth – and see how Jonathan and Daniel had grown. The summer couldn\u2019t come soon enough for Seymour because that meant Robert would be home once again. <\/p>\n
Happily, my siblings and I became part of his extended family. Sey welcomed us! <\/p>\n
Richard and Sey shared a love for family genealogy and they would have conversations which seemed to have no end; Michael and Sey would always enjoy some sweet jokes and light hearted exchanges.<\/p>\n
Sey and Joe loved to talk medicine and reminisce about their beloved alma mater, Wesleyan. Joe was impressed by Sey\u2019s medical knowledge as well as his academic achievements at college and in medical school. He would tease Sey about their Wesleyan bonds and try to get him back on campus.<\/p>\n
Ruth and Susan, Joey and Ally, Robbie, Dan and Jake \u2013 we all looked forward to spending Thanksgiving weekend together at the shore, where Sey would take quiet satisfaction in trouncing us in bowling. \u201cWould you look at that?\u201d he would exclaim, as his scores soared from frame to frame. He would smile with pleasure, chuckling over his skills, and encouraged us as we attempted -and failed- to match him. We enjoyed birthdays as well as holidays together and sometimes just a quiet weekend, for no reason at all. Sey took an interest in each one of us and made an effort to embrace us as his own.<\/p>\n
Harry is the only grandchild that Sey and Mom share since he was born after their marriage. Sey called him Tiger \u2013 or Hershel. Both Mom and Sey share the name Hershel. Sey got a kick out of calling Harry Hershel, too (even though his name is Haim). Harry says that Grandpa has the best jokes; we might say the corniest. The image of the two of them, Grandpa and Tiger, holding hands, walking out to the garden to pick cucumbers or vegetables is even sweeter than Sey\u2019s perfect tomatoes. <\/p>\n
Becca, Joey and Ally\u2019s daughter is Seymour\u2019s great granddaughter \u2013 and her birth strengthens a special bond with Ally\u2019s grandparents, Marshall and Jean Ellman, also lifelong Hartford residents as well as friends of long standing.<\/p>\n
When Sey took my hand I often thought of what he was like as a physician and imagined that being in his care gave his patients a sense of confidence and well-being. Seymour was just that, for us. He was that calm. His hands cared for so many in the community. He touched and healed generations of people. Those hands welcomed them into the world. Sey was at their side, nursing them through illnesses. He comforted them and shared his strength with people who relied on him, always. All that was communicated by being hand in hand. Seymour was beloved.<\/p>\n
Sey was there when you needed him. It gave him pleasure to help. That\u2019s just how he was put together. Sey didn\u2019t need things to define his identity or to make him happy. He sought to make the world better through his efforts. That was reward enough. <\/p>\n
Given the last three months, it is easy to focus on the challenges he faced. And he met them with a fortitude that most of us could not summon. During a recent visit, Sey brightened up when he saw Harry and he summoned all his energy to greet him. Afterwards, Harry turned to us and said: Grandpa has courage. And he did. <\/p>\n
In the Talmud we learn that it isn\u2019t necessary to set up a memorial for the righteous \u2013 their deeds and actions are enough. But is there a greater tribute than to say that we loved him and we will miss him; that we will always remember him? He was not just \u201cmy Seymour\u201d but yours, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sey. Not my father or step father; I called him \u201cMy Seymour.\u201d He always greeted me with a broad smile, rosey cheeks, an embrace \u2013 and the question: \u201cHow\u2019s your Yiddish?\u201d It\u2019s easy to see why my mother, Helen, loved … Continue reading